You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
