You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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