Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
