Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
In America we eat man semen.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
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