Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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