I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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