Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
