I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
