Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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