This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
