girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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