My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
