so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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