Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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