I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
