I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
