you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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