respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
