Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
