Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
