oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
