I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
