my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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