problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
