And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
