Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
