im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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