I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
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