Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
