i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
