She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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