Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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