There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
