now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
