I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
