I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
two words: eviction party
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
