she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
