Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
