Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
