Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
