I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
