Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
