Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
