I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
