Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
