check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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