U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
