ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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