escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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