I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ttyl tear gas
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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